Eifersucht oder eine Verletzung der Ehre - Vortrag

Was wir als Eifersuchtsgefühl und eifersüchtiges Verhalten definieren, wird in anderen Gesellschaften aus einem z.T. sehr unterschiedlichem Blickwinkel wahrgenommen. Was hierzulande als Privatsache eines Individuums bzw. eines Paares angenommen wird, erhält anderswo (zusätzlich) eine völlig andere und weitaus schwerwiegendere Dimension, in dem es als Angelegenheit einer Familie bzw. Verwandtschaftsgruppe – wenn nicht sogar eines (dörflichen) Kollektivs betrachtet wird: Der (angebliche) Seitensprung oder das „Vorleben“ einer Ehefrau, das „Fehlverhalten“ von Töchtern, Schwestern oder anderen weiblichen Angehörigen bedeuten eine Ehrverletzung, die eine ganze familiäre Gemeinschaft betrifft. In einer Diskussionsrunde des Fiebel Vereins werden Situationen diskutiert die ebensolche Krisen in der Partnerschaft auslösen.
Dokument: Eifersucht oder eine Verletzung der Ehre Protokoll einer Diskussionsrunde vom 14. 2. 2003

26.01.11 | , , , , , |

Das Visum – Hindernis für ein grenzüberschreitendes Familienleben

Seit April dieses Jahres gilt europaweit der Visa-Kodex, der die Situation für Familien insofern erleichtern kann, als die Möglichkeit zur Ausstellung von Visa zur mehrmaligen Einreise ausdrücklich vorgesehen ist. Außerdem muss zukünftig die Ablehnung des Visumsantrags begründet werden. Bei mehrmaliger Visumsvergabe soll auch eine postalische Beantragung ermöglicht werden.
Artikel lesen: Hindernis für ein grenzüberschreitendes Familienleben. Verband für bikulturelle Partnerschaften

17.10.10 | , , , , | Comments

Your Children Aren’t Speaking Your Language?

Wondering why your children aren’t speaking your language? It is hard to say why one child will gladly speak a second (and third and fourth) language while another will resist it. Corey Heller, from the Multilingual Living Magazine explains us the top 10 most likely reasons. Do some of these resonate with your multilingual family’s situation! Read the article here: Top 10 Reasons Your Children Aren’t Speaking Your Language

25.05.10 | , , , , , , , | Comments [2]

Top 10 Reasons Your Children Aren’t Speaking Your Language

By Corey Heller
Multilingual Living Magazine

Wondering why your children aren’t speaking your language? It is hard to say why one child will gladly speak a second (and third and fourth) language while another will resist it. Below are the top 10 most likely reasons. Do some of these resonate with your multilingual family’s situation!

Let’s start the countdown…

10. Patience: Give it some time! You and your child both have to get used to this. Even if you are a native speaker of your child’s second language, it can take a while to figure things out. And once you are completely on board, take the journey one step at a time. Don’t rush your child, it will only make things worse. Remember, you are raising a multilingual child, not trying to win a race!

9. Comfort: Do you or your child feel uncomfortable speaking the language? Make sure you don’t embarrass your child by asking him/her to speak the language out loud in front of others or to use the language in uncomfortable situations. Start in the comfort of your own home and go from there. Sometimes it is the parent who is uncomfortable using a second language with his/her children, even if it is a native language. If this applies to you or your child, then talk about it as a family. Work out the areas which cause the most embarrassment or why it might feel uncomfortable.

8. Age: Our children go through phases in their lives. Their relationship with their second language will be experienced along these same patterns. If your child is going through a phase where he/she wants desperately to fit in at school, then rejecting a second language may be part of this process. Be gentle with your child and address language issues just as you would other changes in your child’s behavior. Try your best to find out how your child is feeling overall. If appropriate, talk with your child about how speaking the second language feels to your child. Work on finding a compromise so that both you and your child can feel good about speaking your language.

7. Resources: Does your child have a good source of language resources? I’m not talking about language-learning text books (unless your child gets a kick of them)! I’m talking about making sure your child has interesting books in only the second language. A good supply of DVDs, video and computer games, board games, etc. all in the second language can come in very handy as well. Without resources to keep their language stimulated, our multilingual children can easily get bored with what is available and will be more inclined to turn toward community language resources (which are so very plentiful!). Find out what interests your child the most and see if family can send over some specific materials – or perhaps you can order some online?

6. Not setting an example: What kind of example are you for your child? Are you using your language as much as possible or are you speaking the community language most of the time with your children (and not even realizing it!)? I can’t tell you the number of parents I talk with who insist that they speak their language with their children ALL the time. But when I visit these same parents, they spend the majority of the time speaking with their children in the community language without even realizing it! Believe me, it is very, very easy to fall into this pattern! You can solve this by (1) being very aware of when you are and are not speaking your language with your children and then (2) switching to your language each time you catch yourself speaking the community language. (3) Ask yourself why you tend to speak the community language with your children as much as you are. If you can find the sources for that question, then you are already one step further along the path toward solving it!

5. Teaching not Living: Raising a child in a second language is about living the language, not teaching it as if it were another subject in school! You need to live the language and impart that love of the language to your children through your way of life, not choice of language text books. This means speaking it as much as possible: while cooking, driving the car, picking up books at the library, going shopping. Make it part of every element of your every-day life. Make the language magical! Make it sparkle for your children by singing songs and doing dances from your culture, telling fairy tales you grew up with, and sharing stories about your childhood in your home country. Even if it isn’t your native language, you can find unique cultural and linguistic elements to bring into your lives.

4. Enjoyment: Is using a second language fun for your children or difficult and boring? Are you and your children enjoying using the second language or has it become drudgury? Make sure you are finding ways to make using the language a joy: play games in the language, chat about fascinating to pics, visit friends and places where the language is spoken. Don’t let yourself get to the point of drilling the language into your children’s heads. That is the best way to make your children hate the language. Many parents in my seminars have told me how their children started using their language after they got a game that was only in the second language. Not only did the game help encourage language use, it also brought the family together!

3. Consistency (not rigidity): Does your child know who speaks which language and when? Are you going back and forth, speaking different languages randomly? It isn’t the end of the world if you don’t have a perfectly consistent language pattern (and switching languages back and forth isn’t a crime) but a clear plan will make your language journey so much easier. Ultimately, your young child wants to please you and he/she can do this best if it is clear what is expected of him/her. If your child is confused or frustrated by not knowing what is expected, then it is very likely that he/she will simply stop speaking the language. But watch out! Don’t let your consistency plan turn into a rigidity plan! You need to make sure that your plan is serving you, not trapping you! You are allowed to change your plan whenever needed but if you do, make sure to meet as a family to decide on what the new plan will be. Then give the new plan some time to be fully implemented and assessed.

2. Need: Why should your child use his/her second language? If your child can get everything he/she needs via the community language, then there is really no NEED to use the second language. A need can come in the form of many different things: to play a game, to speak with others who only speak the second language (family, travel to another country), to understand a book or DVD in the second language, to get something that he/she wants. Some parents go as far as to refuse to answer their child unless the question comes in the second language. I never did this with my kids but for some families it works well. This is where you will have to be creative based on what resources you have available (Can you hire a nanny who only speaks the language? Can you travel to a country where the language is spoken?). Need can come in the form of that which is most familiar: a child often will speak the second language with parents simply out of habit (it would feel too strange if they didn’t)! Remember that each child is different so a need for one child may be very different for another. Get creative!

1. Not Enough Exposure: Are your children exposed to their second language a minimum of 30 percent of the time (on average)? Note that this is not a magical number. It will not guarantee multilingualism in your child! This is simply a general number which a group of researchers have come up with to determine what the minimum amount of language exposure appears to be to reach basic multilingualism. 50 percent? 80 percent? Wonderful! The chances are so much better for bi/multilingualism with exposure like that!
Use your common sense with this. If the spouse who speaks your child’s second language is working 40 hours a week, then it is going to be much more difficult for your children to receive enough exposure than if the native-speaking spouse is with the children all day. You may need to find additional ways that your child can receive language exposure to reach an average of 30 percent: a nanny, friends, family.

And remember, if your child receives less than 30 percent exposure, that is no reason to give up! Sometimes less exposure can have more of an impact than we know! Just allow yourself to adjust your expectations to match your family’s language journey and see where you can add more language exposure along the way. The gift of language is priceless, no matter how much language exposure your child receives!

These are just a few of the main obstacles to your child wanting to speak the second language. There are so many more! Please share your ideas and tips on getting your children to speak their second language! You are a wealth of valuable information, I can’t wait to hear!

About the author: Corey Heller

25.05.10 | , , , , , | Comments

Presse: Kein Platz in Österreich für Achim und Andy

Von: http://derstandard.at
Im Streit um eingetragene Partnerschaften für Schwule und Lesben kommen binationale Paare nicht vor. “Immer nur auf Kurzurlaub in ihrer Wunschstadt Wien: Achim und Andy Andrews würden gern wieder in Österreich leben. Dabei ist die Frage für sie von existenzieller Bedeutung, wie die Geschichte Achims und Andys zeigt, die aus Österreich auswandern mussten, um zusammenbleiben zu dürfen.
Siehe ganzer Artikel…

12.01.09 | , , , , | Comments

Presse: Auf Deutsch bin ich stärker

Von: derstandard.at
Gestik, Mimik, emotio­nale Bedeutung eines Wortes: Kommunikation ist mehr als nur reine Sprache, binationale und bikulturelle Paare kennen die Feinheiten, die den Unterschied machen.
“Selbst wenn Paare die gleiche Sprache sprechen, kommt es schnell zu Missverständnissen. Persönliche Geschichte und Erfahrung bestimmen, welche Gefühle mit bestimmten Begriffen verbunden werden. Auch das soziale und kulturelle Umfeld beeinflusst, wie Worte, Gesten und Mimik verstanden werden. Für binationale und bikulturelle Paare ergeben sich dadurch besondere Herausforderungen. Der Verein Fibel veranstaltete dazu mit der Psychotherapeutin Elisabeth Jupiter einen Workshop zum Themenschwerpunkt “Sprache und Kommunikation in bikulturellen Partnerschaften”. Die Workshop-Teilnehmerinnen hatten unterschiedliche Geschichten aus ihren Beziehungen zu erzählen”…Siehe ganzer Artikel…

12.01.09 | , , , , |

An experimental study of bilingual couple´s communication

Language practices by bilingual couples has not been deeply investigated yet. Piller makes an excellent approach of the methods that could be use when researching on how bilingual couples communicate.

An experimental study of bilingual couple´s communication. Ingrid Piller. University of Hamburg(PDF, 1,94MB)

25.04.08 | , , , , | Comments

Bikulturelle Ehen - Ehen mit Zukunft

Jedes Paar hat seine eigene Konstellation, sagt J.Lang, aber “statistisch gesehen ist es sogar so, dass Beziehungen, wo der Mann Schweizer ist und die Frau Ausländerin, länger halten, als wenn zwei Schweizer verheiratet sind”.
Herr Lang ist Eheberater in der Schweiz und im “deutschprachigen Internet”. Er stellt in seinem Text eine andere Perspektive von multi- und bikulturellen Konflikten in Beziehungen dar: und zwar jene der Therapeuten, wenn multikulturelle Paare zu Ihnen zur Beratung kommen. Selbst wenn der Therapeut neutral bleiben will, spielen die für ihn selbstverständlichen Grundlage seiner eigenen Kultur eine wichtige Rolle.

Artikel lesen: Bikulturelle Ehen – Ehen mit Zukunft. By J. Lang. In: Psychoscope, Bern 2002 (PDF, 177KB) Eheberatung & Info – J.Lang: www.paarberatung.ch

7.04.08 | , , , , , , | Comments

Las acciones punitivas físicas: una perspectiva intercultural

En muchas sociedades todavía se utliza el castigo físico en los niños, como sinónimo de disciplina. El uso o no del castigo físico es un factor que debe tomar en cuenta y analizar a fondo aquella pareja bicultural que decida criar a un niño. La manera anti-autoritaria o muy autoritaria en que hayan sido criados los miembros de la pareja, puede marcar fuertemente la dirección que se decida tomar sobre la educación del niño. En muchos casos, si la pareja no ha analizado a fondo este tema, puede traer consigo discusiones en el seno familiar. En este ensayo, de M. del Mar Badía, se enmarca el término de castigo corporal diferenciándolo del de abuso físico, a la vez que se realiza un análisis sobre la perspectiva de diferentes países con relación a la aplicación de dicha forma de castigo.
Leer Ensayo completo: Las acciones punitivas físicas: una perspectiva intercultural

7.11.07 | , , , |

Raising children bilingually

Why, What, Who, When, Where?

Raising children bilingually and biculturally should be something that ultimately brings you satisfaction and joy. This doesn’t mean you won’t hit many bumps in the road and at times feel like you are the only person in the world speaking your language.

Ask Yourself: Why, What, Who, When, Where?

In this article, Corey Heller, from the Bicultural family Network , explains some inicial considerations about raising kids bilingually and to help you start things off on the right foot.

21.06.07 | , , , , , | Comments

Cross-cultural communication in intimate relationships

Cross-cultural communication in intimate relationships

What is a cross-cultural intimate relationship? What does it has to do with globalization?
The author focuses on one type of intimate relationship, namely romantic and sexual couple relationships and analyses couples in which the partners come from different national and/or linguistic backgrounds. Globalization has a main role in this research concerning the increasing international mobility, international data flow, and international cultural exchange.

Cross-cultural communication in intimate relationships. Ingrid Piller, Basel University. 2007(PDF, 120KB)

15.06.07 | , , , |

Favorite Myths about Bilingualism

Favorite Myths about Bilingualism

There are a lot of myths about being a bilingual person. Maybe you are bilingual and you did not know… A bilingual person uses two languages in the everyday life; but it does not mean that this person knows the two (or more) languages equally well and optimally.
Read the following article, written by an expert, and find out another perspective about Bilingualism.
Favorite Myths about Bilingualism by François Grosjean.

8.06.07 | , , , , , | Comments

Need Advice in Raising Bilingual Children?

Need Advice in Raising Bilingual Children?

Have you found yourself hitting some stumbling blocks along the way in raising your children in more than one language? The Bicultural Family Network is specialized on helping multicultural families on how to deal with difficulties in raising bilingual and multilingual children. I strongly recommend the Multilingual Living Magazine if you´re interested in research, tips, advice, examples and more…

7.06.07 | , , , , , , , | Comments

Gender and Multilingualism

Gender and Multilingualism

The authors of this paper do a brief explanation of how the use of “multilingualism” in direct relation with gender, economic production and social reproduction in the context of globalization.
“Globalization has been described as consisting of flows of goods, capital, communication, and people. Many of these flows throw people of widely different linguistic and cultural backgrounds into contact, be it the flows of information and mass media, or be it actual people flows as in migration and tourism.”
Globalization, Gender and Multilingualism. Ingrid Piller and Aneta Pavlenko, 2007(PDF, 68KB)

23.05.07 | , , |

Información oficial para contraer Matrimonio Civil en España

Información para contraer Matrimonio Civil en España

Si tú o tu pareja es extranjera, residentes en España, y quieren contraer matrimonio en ese país, deberán presentar los siguientes documentos: ver artículo completo

12.05.07 | , , , , | Comments

Info für die Eheschließung in Deutschland

Info für die Eheschließung in Deutschland

Soll eine deutsch-ausländische Ehe geschlossen werden, so ist neben dem deutschen auch das nationale Recht des nichtdeutschen Partners/der nichtdeutschen Partnerin zu berücksichtigen, damit die Eheschließung auch in dessen/deren Heimatland gültig ist. Die Standesbeamt/-innen prüfen, ob die Verlobten nach ihrem jeweiligen Recht, die Ehe schließen dürfen.
Siehe ganzer Artikel

5.05.07 | , , , , | Comments

Binationale Familien und Partnerschaften

Binationale Familien und Partnerschaften

Binationale Familien und Partnerschaften 2004 wurden in Deutschland 56.238 Eheschließungen mit Auslandsbeteiligung durchgeführt. Dabei haben die meisten deutschen Frauen Männer aus der Türkei und europäischen Ländern geheiratet. Die deutschen Männer hingegen haben sich für Frauen aus Polen und anderen osteuropäischen Ländern entschieden. Im selben Jahr wurden in Deutschland insgesamt 160.411 Kinder geboren, die von binationalen Ehepaaren entstammen. Übersichtliche Statistiken zum Thema bietet der Verband Binationaler Partnerschaften.
Zahlen und Fakten 2005, Verband Binationaler Partnerschaften (PDF, 425KB)

25.02.07 | , , , , |

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